Iron Man

September 16, 2010

I am trying to buy an Iron Man t shirt. I don’t usually wear slogan t shirts these days, but the thing is, I can’t deny it, I love Iron Man! I think he’s the shit!

I like quite a few superhero films, but Iron Man is so the best. He’s not magic (like Superman) or diseased (like Spider-Man), or mental (Batman) – he’s just dead clever. Rich, clever, successful, a bit middle-aged, touch of a dicky ticker, orphan issues, sarcastic, does whatever he wants. Brilliant. I wish I was Iron Man. He’s just amazing. I love both the films almost equally, too. Yeah.

But there are no good Iron Man shirts in women’s sizes. They are losing custom here, potentially quite a lot. Don’t ignore the fact that women love Iron Man and want to be him, Marvel, you’ll pay the price. The second it’s finished, I’m coming after you in my Suit.

The problem is compounded by the fact that I’m picky about what’s on the t shirt. I’m interested in an Iron Man *movie* shirt, or maybe something that makes me look like I might work for Stark Industries (because that’s the goal, really, what my life’s building up to.) Not a t shirt about the comic though. That’d feel like a lie because I don’t really like comics… or at least, I have no idea what to do with them. It took me a long time to realise this, and believe me, I’ve tried. People love them so, I want to feel that passion. But I just can’t do it. I might make an exception for I.M, but still, I suspect film is the best medium for this. What’s the deal with comics anyway? Aren’t comics just storyboards for the, far better, movie*? They’re good as storyboards though. That might be why, of all the films, comic films are the most fun. And of all the comic films, Iron Man is so obviously the best.

I am Iron Man.

* Devil’s advocate. I know it’s a big medium with good and bad in there, and I do LOVE, say Sydney’s stuff. So maybe one day…

2 Responses to “Iron Man”

  1. James Wheare Says:

    Watched the second film on the plane and thought how cool would a tshirt with the glowing arc reactor silhouette (except it’s more of a glow than a shadow… a luminette?) on it. Is that what you mean? I’m sure there’s a vector of it somewhere (or it wouldn’t be hard to cobble one together anyway) which you could then send to spreadshirt or zazzle or something and DIY it.

    Anyway, yes, narcissism gets such a bad rep these days, it’s nice to see it reframed as a grand spectacle rather than victimised by the morally righteous. You can only really get away with it if you’re truly unstoppable though. There was a good line in the film along the lines of “Show that god can bleed and the people will devour him” Like, no one likes a smart arse, unless they’re incredibly talented and have that untouchable quality of celebrity.

  2. enemyofchaos Says:

    I’ve just rewatched them both. There’s so much stuff in them that really looks like it was bought in a comic shop – e.g. the old heart in a handy display box, the Iron Man poster he puts up in the kitchen area. Made me laugh, like pre-product placement, but suited the general arrogance of the films so well I didn’t mind.

    There are lots of arc reactor shirts you can get & I imagine there are some that light up (again, surely they created them with the merch in mind) like those Cyberdog ones.

    What I want now, having watched them again, is a poster reproduction of the blueprint of the future city/atom thing.

    But what I actually bought was the Stark Industries T-Shirt:

    I got the Stark t shirt

    It’s a man shirt of course (“women sizes only available in certain designs”) so I had to tuck it in, but it’s not too bad and I really like the quality and design and pretending I work for Stark Industries.

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